Here and There

We Are Family... yeah yeah!

2011-05-24T23:32:00.000-05:00

Most of the time, I don't do a very good job of loving my family. By and large, they do an AMAZING job of loving me, even when I least deserve it.

Recently, a series of unfortunate events occurred in my life. The most unfortunate of these was completely my fault (school-related, again). In my eyes, it was a huge, life-changing issue. I stayed up almost all night before talking to my parents, convinced that they would never look at me the same way. And then, the most astonishing thing happened - they decided to love me.

Very rarely in my life have I seen God pour out his grace and mercy so fully. There I was, prepared for my family to reject me in full, say I'd betrayed them, or just cut me out of their lives. "This is too much," they'd say, or "We just can't deal with you anymore."

But they didn't. They came to me and put their arms around me. They held me while I cried, they comforted me and supported me. They acknowledged my mistakes and sins, but they also forgave me. At one point, my mom asked, "Will this matter in 20 years?" And you know, it will. But it will matter because of how they loved me, not because of how my mistake looks now.

And the thing is, not everyone has a family like mine. Some people have family that would rather disown them than deal with the difficult mess relationships can be, and some people don't have any family at all.

I mean sure, my family is still dysfunctional even at the best of times, but like I said, they're pretty good at loving me, even when I don't deserve it. Even better than that, though, is the Lord's great love for me. If I have learned NOTHING else this past year, I have certainly learned more about his sovereign power and love. My family's astounding, gracious, overwhelming, compassionate response is just a vague shadow of God's love for us.

"Without Thy sweet mercy I could not live here;
Sin would reduce me to utter despair;
But, through Thy free goodness, my spirits revive,
And He that first made me still keeps me alive!"

today's topic is...

2010-12-27T00:18:00.005-06:00

American Exceptionalism.

Okay, I was actually just reading an article on the subject and decided to comment. I just wish my comments were wittier, or more ground-breaking. They're not. Here's the article.

Basically, this means America thinks it's unique in every way and is also Number 1 in every way. GO TEAM USA!

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But not by much. Face it, America - you've got a lot of issues. Yes, dear country, you and your people have provided and enjoyed countless gifts and blessings, but you know what? It doesn't matter. You are NEVER as good as you think you are.

Seriously, America. Lay off the hubris.

I don't have much time (aka, I had lots of time and just procrastinated a lot)

2010-12-02T22:24:00.009-06:00

Okay kiddos, here's the deal. I think I'm going to start blogging again. For my sake, really, not yours.

Why? you ask. You haven't blogged in almost two years! Who do you think you are, storming back into the blogosphere like this! You have no business here! Begone, you fair-weather blogger!

And you would be right to think that. I am a fair-weather blogger, as well as a fair-weather knitter, fair-weather student, and (more often than I'd like to admit) fair-weather friend. Which is to say, I am lazy and self-absorbed. And you, dear friend, are also at least one of those things.

But, as I mentioned, I am not reviving this blog for you. I doing it because I need to get back into the habit of writing. I write often (I'm a journalism student, you know) but it's not the same. Not the same thing at all... and I'm learning that change is often the healthier way to go. Also, I don't want to finish this paper I'm writing. We can be honest here, right?

My plan is this: pick a topic and write about it. Any topic. If I need assistance thinking of one, I'll turn to my trusty partner in time wasting crime, Stumble. And I have to write at least one sentence. On a good day, maybe even two. It can be trivial or serious. Whoa now, don't get too crazy, Jennifer, you say (or I think), because you know what will happen. Your fair-weather self will get into a boxing match with your productive self, and it will TAKE YOU DOWN.

This is probably true. But, why not enjoy the fair weather while it lasts, hmm?

Okay, topic, go!

Twitter

I love it. I used to hate it. A lot, actually, and then... I got one. A Twitter account, that is, dedicated to keeping me glued to the internet instead of going out in real life and having real friends like Alyssa. Alright, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But this Twitter thing... you can connect with virtually anyone who has access to the Internet and read their thoughts, plans, actions, drunken tweets, whatever. And you don't have to get super-scary-stalker like on Facebook. I totally dig it, and I plan on tweeting just a touch more often now as well.

But not too much. I don't want to be "that person."

*In full disclosure, Alyssa edited this for me by a very unscripted series of events.

(I really love parenthetical phrases)

2009-02-27T01:33:00.019-06:00

Sometimes it's just so wonderful, and sometimes it's not.

It's like that time I walked into the German bakery in Fredericksburg and I was so excited to be in a place that sold so many delicious pastries and cookies and cakes because (let's face it) I have a sweet tooth the size of an elephant's molar. I'd been inside before, eaten the apple turnovers and snickerdoodles and bearclaws (my dad likes those, as I recall), and looked at the decorations that told all the tourists how proud the owners were to be of a German bloodline. And I walked in and I looked around and I took a breath and I gagged and I walked back outside. The air inside was sweet. It was sweet sweet sweet, so sweet, too sweet for me to breathe in. My sweet tooth might've been able to handle it, but there is more to me than just my sweet tooth, and those other parts of me couldn't do it, couldn't take the weight of the sweetness.

Sometimes I find myself back in that bakery. But the thing is, when the bakery isn't really a bakery, there isn't any exit, and I have to find my own way out, MacGyver-style.

Humans need community, I know this. But sometimes, just every so often, isn't it easier to be the hermit? It is a very selfish thing to say that dealing with other people, other people's issues, other people's emotions, is really just a big hassle. Some of my favorite times have been when I am driving home to Colorado or driving back to Texas, when I have 11 hours of solid thinking time, all to myself, no one to interrupt, no one to bother me, no one else to think about.

And that is selfish.

Solitary drives aren't all bad, of course (sometimes they're all that keep me sane), but I might have a tendency to cling to the hermit-like aspects of them. "Because we're all just temporary nomads, traveling side by side until there is a choice. Then you will take one, and I will take the other, and we will be 'us' no longer but 'you' and 'me'."

Thank God my hermit tendencies do not rule for long. Thank God (quite literally, not me) that I do not regard others as merely a hassle for the majority of my thoughts. Thank God, in short, that I am only an asshole part of the time and not all of the time. You'll have to forgive me (or not, really) for the times when I am.

The music starts again.

Whoops.

2009-01-08T19:58:00.003-06:00

I forgot I had a blog.

Not that it's a big problem or whatever - blogs aren't actually that important, in my not-so-humble opinion - but it's still nice to be able to keep track of your life in a somewhat tangible way. Then again, this is the Internet, so I guess even that's not accurate.

I'm back in Lubbock, I'm in a new house near campus, I'm almost totally moved in, I have my old job back and I'm stealing the neighbors' Internet. So good to be back in the States, right?

Well, yes, yes it is. It's great! Really. However, I find that I've been asked the questions, "Would you do it again? Would you go to Europe again?" several times now, and my immediate mental response each time is What the hell kind of a question is that? Isn't it obvious, if you even know me a teeny tiny bit? The answer is clearly yes! Okay, granted, I wouldn't do things exactly the same, so maybe the questions aren't totally uncalled for. I would go to a different city, perhaps, maybe live in Madrid, Barcelona, or Paris. Of course, Edinburgh still has a piece of my heart from all those years ago (okay, just just six or so), and I would like to travel a bit more before making a decision, but Yes! Yes, I would do it again!

Enough about that. I'm bored of talking about Europe to an audience that only asks about it out of politeness. The world doesn't stop just because you move to a foreign country for a little while, and I definitely feel a little left out of things. Relationships, recent happenings, inside jokes, etc. I know it was my choice to take myself away from all those things for four months but it's still hard to come back to even more life changes.

Blah blah blah.

I miss Spain people. I really really do! 27 new friends, all of whom I adore, and now I'm not around them for hours every day. Golly gee, life is hard, eh? Guess I'd better get to sucking it up and toughening up as soon as I can. Ah, Viva la Vida!

We were neutral.

2008-11-10T09:44:00.015-06:00

Yes, alright, okay, I've failed again in keeping up-to-date with my blogs. Apologies all around. Things have, however, been rather busy on this side of the planet.

We went to Switzerland last weekend. Yes, that's correct: Switzerland. It's the only country in Europe that I've been to that is not in the European Union, and I think I may may now understand why. As it turns out, Switzerland can stand on its own two feet. I actually left Sevilla a day early to go to Milan and spend some time with Urte (she's studying there for the semester). It was so great, getting to see a familiar face from back home in a foreign land. Urte was an awesome tour guide, showing me all kinds of amazing places like The Duomo and the Castle, and taking me to eat and drink delicious things that evening.

Everyone else arrived in Milan mid-morning on Friday, and we all hopped on a train that would take us from Milano Centrale to our final destination! Granted, we actually had to change trains 3 or 4 times, and we kept accidentally sitting in 1st class, but we finally made it. Our group (there were 12 of us, can you imagine?) spent our long weekend in Interlaken, known for its geographical beauty and extreme sports. We got to experience plenty of both, especially the beauty. I loved, loved, loved Switzerland, and it is now a goal of mine to go back and explore the rest of it one day.

We took a couple of days to go exploring around the area - mountain bikes, four-wheelers, motos, what have you.

Our moto!

A lovely church in a different village.

Swiss chocolate... a little piece of heaven, if you ask me.

Group photo! I was really surprised that we managed to have such a good time since there were 12 of us all together. We really had a terrific group in Switzerland - lots of fun, lots of love, and no Debbie Downers!

Paris, je t'aime

2008-10-29T04:59:00.014-05:00

So a couple of weekends ago, we went to Paris. Yeah, you know, Paris. No biggie.

Actually, it was my second time to experience the amazing beauty that is Paris, and I'm pleased to say that it captured my heart all over again, just as it did the first time. This time, though, was so different from my first visit. Nothing can ever replace or measure up to one's first experience with this city, to be sure, and so it would be a lie to say that this trip was better than the first. This trip was different, though. Last time I was in a huge school group with guided tours and bus transportation everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I love guided tours, but there's something to be said for experiencing the sites of the city on your own terms. Instead of a huge group of wide-eyed, young high schoolers being carted around and chaperoned everywhere, this trip was a group of wide-eyed college students, old enough to be resourceful and explore the city without needing someone to shepherd us, yet still young and naive enough to be in awe of what we were doing and seeing.

My favorite difference between this trip and my first one, though, was being able to walk everywhere and just explore and experience the streets and people of Paris. Walking, taking it slower, savoring it all, was infinitely better than traveling everywhere by means of a tour bus.

Notre Dame, lit up in her nocturnal glory.

Maggie and I took turns posing in front of the French Senate building in the Gardens of Luxembourg. Government and gardens... the French know how to do it.

Gardens of Luxembourg. These are flags for all of the countries within the EU

Who is that? Oh, the Venus de Milo? Oh, right.

View of the Louvre's pyramid from one of the windows

The Opera House! It was absolutely incredible.

Anyone recognize this? On my last trip, we went to see it at night. It was little safer in the daytime.

We went to the Eiffel Tower on Saturday, our last night. It was fantastic.

Lisboa, where Spanish speakers don't know what the heck to do...

2008-10-21T10:48:00.012-05:00

Lisbon! It's the capital of Portugal and was, for a long time, one of the world's most powerful cities. We went sight-seeing for a while the first day and explored a huge monastery with beautiful structuring, as well as one of the cities old protective fortresses, the Tower of Belem. That evening, we all went out to eat at a Brazilian meat house. I don't think I've ever eaten so much meat, not even during the Labor Day Goat Cook-Off in Brady! The black beans and rice with fried bananas were absolutely delicious as well.

The rest of the weekend was spent visiting the largest aquarium in Europe, a zoo that specified in African and Asian animals, seeing some old castles, checking out restaurants and doing a bit of shopping. All in all, a great weekend.

Tower of Belem!

Playing look-out, holding down the fort (literally).

Know whose dead body that is? Vasca De Gama!

Some of that really delicous food I mentioned, as well as some pretty terrific company.

Barcelona, the heart of Cataluña.

2008-10-21T10:39:00.010-05:00

On this particular weekend, a group of about 7 of us took a trip to Barcelona! We had a wonderful time, and saw SO MUCH. Barcelona managed to win the #2 spot on Jennifer's List of Favorite Travel Experiences, version 2008. The weather was turning from summer to fall and so it was actually quite cool for the majority of the long weekend. The feel of the city was incredible - the perfect combination of Paris, Spain and (though I've never actually been there, my friend Simon confirmed this) New York City. Barcelona was so beautiful, with so many incredible things to see, that Simon and I ended up walking upwards of ten miles a day in an attempt to experience as much as we could. The sore feet were more than worth it.

There were some incredible outdoor markets in Barcelona! Everything looked incredible and delicious... except for things like this.

Las Ramblas, one of the major streets in Barcelona, was filled with people, shops, restaurants and street performers! Most of the performers were pretty good, too.

Just one of the many beautiful museums that the city plays host to.... We actually ate lunch on the top of those stairs, looking out over the city.

We went to Park Guell! Gaudi was a crazy, incredible genius, and we had a great time exploring his creations. It was almost like being Alice in Wonderland.

Time passes more quickly in Europe

2008-10-21T10:16:00.009-05:00

It has been approximately 4 weeks since I last updated this blog. For those of you who expect more, I apoogize for the lack of communication. There are several things that I need to write about, mainly my travels, but since I have so much to do in such a small amount of time I shall keep the writing to a minimum and let my pictures speak for themselves.

In order, from the last update to this last weekend: Lagos (Portugal), Barcelona (Spain), Lisbon (Portugal), Paris (France). I think I'll do one blog for each trip... good plan?

The beach at Lagos...

So, Lagos. We went to La Rabida and Lagos on an official program day-trip, but most of us stayed in Lagos for the rest of the weekend. It was GORGEOUS. The villiage is situated on the southern tip of Portugal, along the Gold Coast, and it's a bit of a haven for British, Australian, French, Spanish, American and Portugese travelers. The weekend included some beach time, a bit of cliff jumping, fun times with friends and a veritable ocean of rain in the sky.

We saw repilcas of Christopher Colombus' Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria at La Rabida

Fun at the beach!

This is the bruise I got from cliff-jumping. We took this picture just an hour and a half later, and it was already this bad. Don't worry, Mom and Dad, your daughter is more than fine.

Because one part of Spain just isn't enough.

2008-09-22T09:05:00.014-05:00

Okay. Granada. What can I even say??

Yes, we went to Granada this weekend for our first overnight excursion with the group. It was so amazing! I really think Granada was my favorite place we've been too yet, even more than Sevilla. It was a little ways up in the mountains (not like Colorado mountains, but gorgeous nevertheless) and the city was as beautiful as the scenery. The main attraction was The Alhambra, which is this huge, ancient palace built by one of the Moorish sultans centuries ago. The majority of the palace was still in really good conditions and almost all of the incredible gardens had been restored as well. I think I could've lived there quite happily for the rest of my life. I mean, if you're going to be one of the sultan's many wives or concubines, that's the way to do it.

The city of Granada was great. There was a huge catherdral in the city that we visited, more recent than the one in Sevilla. There were also these gypsy/Morroccan/really amazing markets to shopping though. The stalls and shops were all squeezed in together with huge tapestries and blankets hanging from the street walls and scarves, tea sets and spices spilling out of doorways. It was definitely my kind of shopping trip. Everything was a lot cheaper (relatively speaking) in Granada as well, so shopping was way more of a pleasure than a chore.

Friday evening a bunch of the students and some of the teachers went out to eat at some of the tapas bars in town. Here is yet another thing that makes Granada awesome: at most of the bars, if you order a drink, you get a free tapa! This means that you can have a delicious and diverse meal with some tastey wine for pretty cheap! After tapas we went up to a mirador, or a lookout, where we could see The Alhambra lit up in the drakness. It was just so beautiful, my words and pictures can't do it justice. There were all kinds of people at the lookout too: Americans (ok, us), Spaniards, gypsies, hippies, etc. Some of the people even had a little jam session going with guitars and djembes, and that was quite fun! Granada had amazing food, too! Spanish, Morroccan, whatever, it was excellent!!!

Sunday we went to our first bullfight! I wasn't sure what my reaction would be, watching six bulls die right in front of my eyes, but I really enjoyed the fights. They were very theatrical, and hopefully I'll be able to put some video of it up soon.

In other news, classes keep me super busy, as does simple daily life in Spain. This coming weekend to going to La Rabida and Lagos, so that ought to be fun. I miss everyone in the States a TON, but not enough to come home yet. Things that have been hard to deal with:

-The language barrier, of course.

-Not having any church life. We've gone to a couple of Catholic masses, but since I'm not Catholic AND it's in Spanish AND they're only about half an hour here, it's not the same. Maggie and I want to meet up with some of the missionaries that Alyssa met last semester, but we've been out of town almost every weekend. It's just really hard, and I miss church and my church family A LOT.

-Not feeling at home. I mean, my host family is great, but I feel more like a long term guest than a family member. It gets old, after a while. I also miss just being able to hang out with friends at home. No friends at home here, that's for sure. This makes for a much more expensive social life in general, and my budget can only take so much.

-Cookies. I miss them. Mom, Dad, if you're reading this, I might need some cookies once I come back to the States.

Anything else I should mention? Oh yeah, I've booked flights for Barcelona, Paris and Switzerland (Milan, actually, but then we're taking a train across the border). Awesome!!! If, by some miracle, I have enough money at the end of the semester Britney and I are going to go to Rome as well. Let's hope my budgeting strategies pan out.

Cordoba, Cordoba, Cordoba

2008-09-18T10:36:00.012-05:00

Finally, I have time to write an update about Cordoba! This is exciting for me because I really, really enjoyed Cordoba. Or, to be more specific, I really, really enjoyed the mosque at Cordoba.

Some of the girls at the ruins of Zahara!

On this particular trip, we first went by some ancient Arab ruins about 25 minutes outside of Cordoba. The site was once a Moorish palace, built by some really rich and powerful guy for his concubine (at least I assume that concubina is the Spanish word for concubine. I could be wrong.). The palace and surrounding grounds were named Zahara, after the aforementioned concubine. I think the relationship between this king and his woman must have been pretty powerful because it was pretty clear that the palace was a huge deal back in its day. The buildings and gardens were almost completely destroyed by the Visigoths, but the little that was left screamed elegance and luxury.

After the Arab ruins we went on to Cordoba, which is famous for its silver jewelry (some of which I bought) and the mosque-converted-to-a-cathedral.

The mosque was more incredible that I can convey to you in words. It was huge, grand, immense, but never domineering. The arches were full and tall, and the was a wonderful sense of peace within the place. In fact, I felt that mosque was a far more spiritual place than some of the cathedrals we've visited. The only downsides to the mosque were the areas that had been infected by the Christians' gaudy, tacky alters made of solid gold and dripping with disdain for the common man. Very disappointing, since I sort of feel that "Christian" structures would be better if they were welcoming to people. Again, I could be wrong.

More wanderings and discoveries

2008-09-10T12:34:00.015-05:00

I realized about a week after I arrived here in Spain that I had forgotten the cord that hooks up my camera to the computer. Really troublesome, because that meant that I would be able to post pictures or even remove pictures from the camera in order to make room for new ones. However, the Center has a little tool that I can use instead, and thus you, faithful friends and family, can now take part in my experiences.

About a week and a half ago we took a day trip to Ronda and Marbella. Ronda was a really beautiful town, full of white-washed buildings and absolutely breathtaking scenery. They have a gorge that runs pretty much through the middle of the town, and yet there's this amazing bridge that goes over the top of it all. I have no idea how long the edifice has been there, but it's got to be older than America (most everything is here).

Just me, hanging out in front of an amazing view.

The super amazing bridge/gorge. We don't have one in the US.

This is how the professional matadors do it.

Marbella was a seaside resort city, home to the very rich and possibly famous British elite. The docks were filled with row after row of enormous yatchs, the streets were filled with English accents ordering wine or beer or buying Versace, and the beaches were filled with tourists, tourists, and some topless tourists. Still, it was right along the Mediterrean, and it was lovely.

This was the view of our coastline in Marbella.

Gigantic lollipop that cost more than a plane ticket to Paris!

Next blog (whenever I have time...) will be Cordoba!!!

España is my new home!

2008-08-27T09:45:00.005-05:00

My new address for the semester:

Jennifer Wainscott
Recaredo 44
41003 Sevilla, Spain

Don't worry, I'm not expecting any of you to send me a huge package that cost $37.28 to ship over here, but if you ever get the whim to write to someone in Spain, you can always write to me. I think it costs $.79 or something to send.

It has been just over a full week since I've been in Spain. Isn't that wild? I feel like I've been here longer than that, maybe because we've been "forced" (can you really force a person like me to explore Europe?)to get to know the city already. So far the city has been very good to me. I still get lost on occasion, but I recognize more and am able to find my way home from almost anywhere. So many of the streets look alike, but if one takes the time to look closely, one can see that each one varies bit by bit. For example, nearly every single block here has at least one farmacia (pharmacy). This means that in half a mile, at least 12 farmacias can be found. It also means that the people of Sevilla need never worry about the common cold.

On Friday, our group is going to Ronda and maybe someplace else. I've been told that Ronda is one of the most beautiful towns in the entire country, and from the few pictures I've seen I believe it. We'll be going to a bull fight on Sunday, which will be... interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about bullfighting just yet, but I guess I'll find out soon.

Some things I miss so far:
Air Conditioning (only a few places have it)
My pillow
Cold beverages (everything here is room temp. or lightly cooled)
Liquid hand soap (I know, random)
Family and friends!

I'm one of the few students living without a roommate this semester, a situation which definitely has some ups and downs. The "ups" include having my own room, not worrying about coordinating shower/bathroom time and not having to worry about stepping on one more person's toes. The "downs" include being alone (a lot - wandering the town alone, riding buses alone, etc), having no one to help fill in the awkward silences made by the language barrier, and having no one to share cab fee with. I know, I know, I'm a big baby. Still, it's tricky trying to get to know people in another language, and doing it alone doesn't simplify things.

Yesterday my host parents had their family over for a huge lunch of gazpacho, something like potato salad, dried ham, cheese, bread, fruit and Cruzcampo (the local beer). Maria, their 5-year-old granddaughter, really liked me because I'm "la Americana" and wanted to play with me the whole time. That was okay by me since our language skills are pretty even.

El primero de España!

2008-08-23T10:57:00.006-05:00

Hooray! I´m in Spain! It took 4 flights, 3 layovers, several granola bars and a lot of mental translation, but I made it. So far, Sevilla is ridiculously hot. I mean, super duper, sleep-on-the-tile-floor hot. It´s also gorgeous, but only in some areas. Other areas are your typical city setting with lots of apartments, buses, and graffiti.

My host parents are Ana and Pepe. At first glance, they look like retired beach bums. At second glance, they look like retired beach bums on a schedule. I haven´t had time for a third glance yet. They´re both really nice and keep feeding me delicious food. It´s a good thing we´ve been walking so much or else I´d get fat in a flash. Yesterday I talked with Ana about all kinds of things, including her granddaugter and my niece. They´re about the same age, so that provided a good deal of discussion.

Today we went to Italica, which is this town of Roman ruins a little ways outside of the city. It boggles my mind to think that amazing things like Roman ruins are practically commonplace here. I´ll have some more to say later, but for now this is all the time I have. Adios!

The Roman ampitheater
Passage ways leading to the stands

More ampitheater
Some really excellent mosaic tile. Everything left here is original.

You can't beat the axis if you get VD.

2008-08-04T16:58:00.007-05:00

Man still hath either toys, or care;
He hath no root, nor to one place is tied,
But ever restless and irregular
About this Earth doth run and ride.
He knows he hath a home, but scarce knows where;
He says it is so far,
That he hath quite forgot how to go there.

- from Man by Henry Vaughan

I wish I was a poet. I enjoy poetry immensely and wish that I had the talent of creating such art with words. I can write, surely, just as any other Joe (or Jane?) walking down the street can, but I cannot turn my prose into poetry. A research paper could never be made to have the same feeling as a sonnet, just as an old house cat could never fool anyone into thinking it was a wild tiger.
Once, in seventh grade, I wrote a poem about a lawn mower. Why? Because the poem was due in class the next day and I had to mow the lawn that evening. And after all of that it turns out that I am highly allergic to grass. Not exactly poetic, but certainly a bit ironic. The teacher, however, took pity on me and gave me full points, even though I probably deserved a C-. We had to write other poems in that class, and I'm sure the only reason I passed that particular unit was because I included some truly great comparisons in my poems. I can compare things like no one's business. Okay, alright, that's not true, but it is something I can do somewhat well. Well enough to pass a poetry class anyway. Alas and alack, we all have our skills and sadly mine do not include poetic writing.

But maybe that's not true either. After all, I once wrote about half a dozen limericks for a scavenger hunt. Think that counts?

On a complete change of subject, here's an old ad I thought was funny:

2008-04-27T22:59:00.003-05:00

Today was an eventful day, and so it followed to be an emotional day. This morning at church Marc preached about adoption (perfect, of course), and the sermon brought tears to my eyes and the eyes of other congregation members. It is completely possible that today was the last time I will ever hear Marc give a sermon. Marc, if you or Amy ever read this, Great job!

After a wonderful, bittersweet morning, there was a wonderful, bittersweet evening service. Providence normally only has one service a day, but today was the date of the church's particularization (which basically means it's a real church now, not a plant anymore). The reception afterward also served as a goodbye party for Marc, Amy and Caroline. It was a tear-jerker for sure, but still enormously uplifting to see what lies ahead of them.

The particularization service was bittersweet in another, strange way as well. This is the type of event I should have gone through with my old church back home in Colorado. When I was in about 7th grade, my family started going to a fairly established church plant in my home town. We really loved everything about that church. The church family there was full of loving people who truly cared about building relationships and loving Christ. The preaching was solid and Biblical, and we began to grow as a family (very slowly and dysfunctionally, but grow nevertheless) in the Word. The church was moving smoothly right along to becoming its own place - they had hired a youth pastor out of Minnesota, put down a payment on a piece of land for a church building, had a ground breaking celebration, had small groups and Bible studies, was the "home church" for the Covenant Bible College in town, etc, etc, etc. All that a church body could want, right?

And then, for reasons that will remain silent here, our pastor left the church. We all loved him and his family, and it was heart breaking to see him go. This action, due to all kinds of factors, caused a lot of strife in the church. That was step one. After a shaky time of random guests speakers that changed from one week to the next, the church finally secured an interim pastor, who would end up being with the church for about a year and a half, I think. He was wonderful and everyone loved him as a pastor, but he was only a temporary fix. In the next year or so (I can't remember exact dates) the church moved locations, dropped the idea of a new building, let the youth pastor go, lost a number of people in the congregation due to petty grievances, and then created a pastoral search committee, of which I was a member.

Eventually, we hired a new pastor out of the northeast and he and his family moved to Colorado in hopes of building the church back up. Perhaps with this new pastor, people thought, the church can get back on its feet and finally cease to be a plant. This never happened. Tithings from the congregation fell to an all time low, the worship leader (with whom my family had been great friends) left, more strife came into relationships and the church leaders eventually put the existence of the church to a vote. Should this church continue with its mission, or should it close? One Sunday evening in the fall of my high school senior year, the church closed its doors for good.

It was ugly. People become ugly. The people I knew and loved and still love became restless, cowardly, mean, non-confrontational and finally gave up all together. Perhaps this truly was for the best (it must have been, since it happened, right?), but to see such events unfold in that manner just about broke my heart. My parents have stayed in contact with and have been rebuilding relationships with many of their old friends from that church. This gives me hope that there can still be healing from old wounds. Even now I see pictures of the people from that church or see them in person and my heart fills with sorrow and love at the same time.

So, as one might imagine, to be sitting in a particularization service at a different church than the one I was originally "supposed" to be at was strange indeed. However, seeing that it was possible for Providence to achieve what my previous church could not gave me hope as well. I'm so thankful to be in another place where there is community and relationships, a love for Christ and the preaching of Biblical truth. God really is good. For me, I guess, to witness his goodness, as untimely as it may be, is a wild thing indeed.

Hopeful.

This one's for the fans

2008-04-23T19:47:00.003-05:00

I’m not a blogger. I don’t think. This piece of writing is actually an attempt to escape the pending online drills I have to do for Spanish. Honestly, I love Spanish, but I HATE online drills.
This is also my response to a certain friend’s request (and I’m not naming names, but his name starts with an “F” and ends in “orrest.”) that I write a blog. A “stream of consciousness,” if you will. So I Wikipediaed “stream of consciousness” just to make sure I could competently follow instructions. So, here it goes.

I Wikipedia everything, way more than is healthy or helpful. I just get so distracted from whatever it is I’m doing at the time that I once I’ve discovered the Wikipedia page for something, I’m lost for at least 15 minutes, reading about something I probably never needed to know. I’m sure my energies could be spent elsewhere in a much more beneficial manner, but Wikipedia is just something I’m drawn to. And it’s not even a legitimate source of information! Alas and alack, to say the least.

I got some free chap stick today at lunch, and briefly considered what it would be like to use free chap stick as a biological weapon. Really, there are few people out there in the world, particularly the United States, who would turn down a free... anything. And with chap stick, all a terrorist organization would have to do is get someone(s) with a terrible case of herpes to use each stick once before sending them out to the unsuspecting multitudes. Then, when a ferocious herpes outbreak occurs nation wide and our minds and medical insurance companies are preoccupied, the terrorists strike! I’m not convinced that this will actually happen, but I suppose there’s always a small possibility.

I’m about to go to J&B for the first time in about a week and a half. Is it silly to be excited about that? I am. Excited, that is, and probably silly too. First I have to do my online drills.

Other quick thoughts:
A third grade girl tried to copy my hairstyle today. Does this mean my hair looks like a nine-year-old’s?
I really hate my apartment complex. I really love my roommates.
Sometimes I just get tired of living.
I miss my old dog, Suzy.
I miss other things, too.
As of late, Dario Marianelli has been making an impression on me. Check him out.

That's enough for now, and likely more than enough forever. Pleased, nameless friend?